Will Smith sir,
You are an amazing father, you continue to inspire and encourage people. Thank you, for proving that we don’t have to end up like our parents.
I just wanna slap him and be like “let your amazing father kiss you DAMNIT!”
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
do i have a crush on you or am i just lonely
This gif is very important
A man with OCD recites a poem about his one true love. It’s heartbreaking.
Saw this on reddit and immediately looked for the video to reblog on here because it’s really fantastic
those last two lines hit me like a fucking trainOmg
Chills went down my spine at the last 2 lines.
You can really see the pain in his eyes.
So much respect for this young lad.
Wears it better than most people
thats not his head
(☂) 10 himym original concepts that you love
IF YOU WERE EVER LOCKED IN A STORE OVERNIGHT…
I have a large collection of books and I am moving soon and sadly cannot take most of my books with me.
Thus the only option I see fit is a GIVEAWAY!!!
Here are the rules:
1: You do not need to follow me, but people who are following always have a higher chance of winning.
2: You must be comfortable with giving me your address if you do win(this information will NOT be given out to anyone).
3: When you reblog you are automatically entered.
4: Winners will be chosen at random off of the list of people who have reblogged.
5:if you win I will contact you & you can give me an overview for your tastes in books or you can let me choose a random book for you ❤
6: Before shipping the book I will let you know the name & if you have the book already I will choose another one.
There will be roughly 25-30 winners & you can win more than once. Most of these books are sci-fi, fantasy, fiction, short stories, & manga. Don’t worry, no Twilight, no 50 Shades!!!
I will pay for everything, so do not worry about any costs to you.
I have more books than in this picture alone.
Giveaway will end on July 1, 2013.
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